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The road to success isn’t always straight. You see, there is a curve in the road a little ways past courage and determination. People always warn you about it, but you never really know what to expect until you get there. This curve is called failure.
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I had seen failure in the past, felt it even, but somehow this curve was different. It came a lot quicker than I had expected, and it was harder than I remembered. Despite all the tools I had prepared, it was so easy to get stuck in this curve, not knowing how to start up again.
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For a while I camp out here. Fearing the things that lurk in the dark.
“You’ll just disappoint everyone,”
“There’s no use in continuing on,”
“It’s too late,”
“Remember what they said about you?”
“You’re not good enough,”
“The road ahead is scary.”
These things echo around me in the dark.
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I try hard not to face the person I see in the mirror. I’m worried I’ve already disappointed her, and she’s the one I was afraid of hurting the most. When I finally look up, I see something I wasn’t expecting. It’s the fire in her eyes. It’s the determination and courage that got us this far. And suddenly I’m not afraid anymore.
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It’s in this moment that I remember this isn’t the end, this curve in the road is just that, it’s a curve. I know that I will come across bumps in the road, better known as writers block. I may even get a flat tire, known as exhaustion. And it’s certain that I will face other curves in the road, but this time I will be able to handle them better.
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My failure came from listening to those things that weren’t true. I let it stop me from doing the thing that I loved the most, and that is writing. However, it is the courage to begin again that counts. And I am so ready to start again, this time more intelligently.
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As I pack up my things and figure out how to continue on, I feel a little bit braver, a little more courageous and even a litter wiser.
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This journey will make me a better writer.
Xo,
Samantha
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